It's Not That Deep

“ How do you separate reality from illusion when you have been steeped in make-believe your whole life?  ” —Natalie Wood “ How strange when an illusion dies. It’s as if you’ve lost a child. ” —Judy Garland I recently finished reading Suzanne Finstad’s Natasha: The Biography of Natalie Wood , which marks the first biography I’ve ever read in completion. I decided to buy a copy after watching an episode of the documentary series Too Young to Die that focused on the life and death of Natalie Wood, an actress and star I hadn’t previously known too much about. Since watching that episode and reading the biography, I’ve gathered much more insight into her life, and have thought about how she has come to resonate with me. One of the few women in history to have a successful, long career as both a child actress and an adult star, Natalie Wood began working in movies when she was four years old. Her mother, Maria—a Russian immigrant—not only created and raised her for stardom but also ro

“ The voice in my head is something most of us notice only when we’re stressed, as I definitely was … We spend our whole lives in the company of such a voice. The voice judges and interprets reality, determines our reactions, and chatters so constantly that we come to identify with it: we imagine that we are the chattering stream of thinking. If you doubt this account of what it’s like inside your mind, consider the possibility that this might be because you’re too closely identified with the chatter to notice. ” —Oliver Burkeman, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking Have you ever had someone notice something you’ve done, or something you just naturally do, and when they attempt to pay you a compliment about it, you are so puzzled because that thing you do is actually the result of your mind torturing you? For example, someone says, “Wow! Your handwriting is so beautiful!” and your immediate reaction is to reply, “Thanks! My life has been a silent y

“ Songs can be incredibly prophetic, like subconscious warnings or messages to myself, but I often don't know what I'm trying to say till years later. Or a prediction comes true and I couldn't do anything to stop it, so it seems like a kind of useless magic. As if the song is somehow speaking through me in its own language. And I am a conduit but totally oblivious to its wisdom. ” —Florence Welch Music and I share a very complicated relationship. I’ve always loved listening to music just as much as the next person, and the music I listened to growing up definitely helped shape me as a person. But a part of me has also always been afraid of music and what it does to me. With me and music—and with me and a lot of other things—it’s all or nothing. Blast the song as loud as you can or don’t play it at all. Sing along to every word at the top of your lungs or don’t sing it at all—it’s always been the way I’ve enjoyed music the most. But at the same time, music has had a