It's Not That Deep

“ I have no right to call myself one who knows. I was one who seeks, and I still am, but I no longer seek in the stars or in books; I’m beginning to hear the teachings of my blood pulsing within me. My story isn’t pleasant, it’s not sweet and harmonious like the invented stories; it tastes of folly and bewilderment, of madness and dream, like the life of all people who no longer want to lie to themselves. ” —Hermann Hesse Have you ever woken up one morning and suddenly decided that you were just so sick and so tired of being so critical of what you see in the mirror? Earlier this year, I had such a moment. Remember when I said that my internal need for perfection had also manifested in other ways than just being a perfect student? At this point in time, it’s hard for me to remember a time when I wasn’t so critical of my appearance. Maybe it was because, as a young teenager, I realized very quickly that boys and men are not generally expected to be so consumed with their appeara